Our life has become like that of animals. What is our fault?

"My name is Spozhmai and I am 21 years old. I live in Kandahar. My father was a police officer under the former government. I graduated from school two years ago. I studied to become a teacher and then I was hired as a contract teacher at government schools.

I took a test this year to be hired as a formal teacher. I did pass the test, but the Taliban changed the appointment [procedure] for new teachers. Potential teachers were expected to sign a contract which required female teachers to wear the complete hijab. By complete hijab, they mean black dress, black headscarf, black face covering, black gloves and black socks. I signed the contract. After that, my contract was sent to Taliban intelligence to find out whether my family members had worked with the military of the former government. 

I waited for 10 days. 

One day, they called my father and told him, “We have received your daughter’s application to become a teacher. Tell us where you live, the exact address, and what you do.” Out of fear, my father told them that he was a street vendor and shared the address with them. The Taliban caller said he would call back. That Taliban caller then called the imam of our mosque and asked him what my father was doing and whether my father had worked for the former government. The imam told him that my father had been a police officer under the former government but was now jobless. 

Five days later, they called my father again. They told my father that I could not work as a teacher because I was the daughter of a police officer. They added, “You will brainwash our schoolchildren with your wrongful thoughts.” Because of their fanaticism, I wasn’t hired. I can no longer work as a contract teacher either. But why? I passed the test on my own and I had to sign that contract, too. I wasn’t hired just because I was the daughter of a police officer. Why should this happen to me? I am really upset about it. It feels like I have committed a big crime, like murder or theft, that I should suffer this.

We have a very difficult life. My father is jobless. My mother is illiterate. I am the oldest child of the family. I wanted to become a teacher and provide for the family. Now, I am really afraid that they will arrest my father and harm him. Since the Taliban takeover, they have searched our house more than 20 times. Each time, they tell my father that he should turn in his gun. My father does not have any gun. It terrifies us, but we have nowhere to go. 

My worst memory is of one of the Taliban searches of our house. After the search, they took my father with them. They imprisoned my father and tortured him for two days. They interrogated my father about the gun he didn’t have. My father was covered in bruises when he came back. He told them that he didn’t have any guns, apart from one handgun which he had returned after the fall of the former government. My father was hospitalized for a week as a result of that incident.

Our life has become like that of animals. What is our fault? Aren’t we creatures of Allah? May Allah have mercy on us. Afghanistan is like a burning hell for us."