“I even attempted suicide during my pregnancy”

Sadiqa

Former journalist and women's rights activist, Badakhshan

A woman in a veil bends over to feed her sheep.

“Before the fall of the Government of the Republic, I was working formally in various human rights organizations. For more than six years, I worked as a journalist for both audio and visual media outlets.

After the fall of the Government of the Republic, my family and I had to flee to Iran through illegal means. Unfortunately, we were caught at the border by Iranian police and were forcibly returned to Afghanistan. We attempted legal processes to secure our status, but our applications were rejected. Eventually, due to economic hardship and concerns for our safety, we sought refuge with my husband’s relatives, who happened to be extremely conservative and extremist.

In the early days, they imposed strict restrictions, then gradually, they began to take me hostage. They forced me to sever all contact with my paternal family and friends. Every day, I had to cook bread for 28 family members and milk five cows, churn butter and perform physically demanding tasks. This was physically exhausting for me. At times, I made mistakes in my chores, resulting in physical violence against me. For several days, they separated my 2-year-old son from me, not allowing me to see him. They even turned my husband against me. This situation persisted for over a year.

Despite being pregnant, my husband said he was going to divorce me and take our son away from me. His family stated that if the child born was a boy, he would belong to them, and if a girl, she would be mine. This situation took a toll on my mental health, especially when I had already lost my physical well-being due to strenuous work and significant weight loss, leading to spinal problems.

This situation left me feeling desperate and powerless, to the point where I attempted suicide. I used rat poison for the act. However, my family members discovered my attempt, and I was rushed to the hospital along with my child, saving both of us.

My husband, witnessing this situation, decided not to divorce me and to change our place of residence. We moved to Sari Pul Province and currently live a clandestine life in a house made of clay and straw. To support ourselves and avoid falling into the hands of the Taliban, my brother, who provides some financial assistance from abroad, sustains us.

As an Afghan woman and survivor of these harrowing experiences, I am determined to bring the world’s attention to the tragedy unfolding in Afghanistan, where women are being systematically excluded from society and work. I implore the international community and international organizations to recognize the gender-based apartheid in Afghanistan and exert strong, practical pressure on the Taliban.”

“Every time I have been hit down, I have stood up taller”

Woman dressed in yellow sews red velvet material at a sewing machine.