“While girls in other countries go to school every day without any obstacles, for me, this has become nothing more than a dream”

Nilab

Tailor and former student, Kabul

A veiled and masked girl sits at a sewing machine on a red carpet in a dimly lit room.

“I’m a girl from Afghanistan, a girl with dreams and aspirations. A girl whose dreams were within reach until just two years ago. Today, everything seems impossible, and I’m left with one question: ‘Is it possible for me to achieve my dreams?’ Such dreams are daily occurrences for other girls around the world, a matter of routine. But for me, that is now just a wish.

In the first half of 1400 (2021), I was in the twelfth grade when Afghanistan fell to the Taliban. With the Taliban takeover, everyone’s dreams in Afghanistan were crushed. I remember the night I heard the news of Herat’s fall, and I cried until morning. Suddenly, fear, terror and despair took hold of my life. I knew I could no longer attend school, all the preparations I had made for my education vanished into thin air. I realized I couldn’t serve my country as a working woman.

While girls in other countries go to school every day without any obstacles, for me, this has become nothing more than a dream. I cried all night and thought about my dark future until morning.

The Taliban ordered schools to shut down, but the following year, even when schools were closed, they conducted the Konkur exam (university entrance exam) for 12th grade graduates. We all hoped that since they were conducting the Konkur, it meant universities would open, and we could continue our studies.

With a lot of hope, girls like me prepared for the Konkur exam and sat for it. However, we didn’t know that even choosing our academic majors would no longer be in our hands. ‘Girls should not study economics, law or computer science,’ they said, and once again, many girls’ dreams, including mine, were shattered.

What’s the point of taking the Konkur exam when it is not going to lead to the opening of university doors for us girls?

After the closure of universities by the Taliban, I decided to take an English and computer course to make my time worthwhile. But the Taliban shut down these courses too, and I became more hopeless than ever. I had no way of learning something and contemplated my future. I was forced to spend my days at home without any purpose or happiness.

Some time passed, and I went to a relative’s house, where I took up tailoring. After all, one has to make the best use of their time. How could I spend my time aimlessly when there was no goal in sight? So, I turned to tailoring and keep myself occupied with this task at home.”

“We have struggled to regain ground in a country where our work is now considered subversive”

A woman holds her red hijab over her mouth and nose.