“Sometimes, when I close my eyes at night, I have one wish: that I never wake up again”

“I’m an Afghan woman and the sole breadwinner of my household. I have two children whose living expenses I must provide. My husband is ill, suffering from severe diabetes, and one of his legs has been amputated due to diabetes complications. He also has heart and eye conditions and his health is getting worse. All his health issues, along with the loss of many of his bodily functions, have placed the responsibility of covering our living expenses and his medical care squarely on my shoulders. 

Before the Taliban took control of Afghanistan, I had two jobs. In the mornings, I worked as a teacher, and in the afternoons, I worked at a media outlet. I made every effort to work so that my children could receive an education and have a promising future. I felt that my problems were already significant, and I didn’t know that things were about to get even worse. 

I had to provide for food, clothing, rent, utilities and my husband’s medical expenses, and all of these responsibilities were on my shoulders. Since I was no longer allowed to work in media, it became very challenging for me. [I was still able to teach children in the morning, but the income was not enough to cover my family’s expenses.] I was left with no choice but to send my son to work selling fruit juices at the public market to generate some income for the family and help meet a small portion of our basic needs.  

Yes, this is our life. Every moment, I witness the destruction and despair of my daughter. I also constantly hear taunts and hurtful words from my ill-tempered husband, saying ‘Women should not work. Women should not leave the house. Women should only be housewives.’ These are the only things I have heard throughout our years together.